April 8, 2003 Volume 2 Issue 41
From The Baker's Dozen Collection
13 Platinum Ideas
Usually The Baker's Dozen article is a special.
Yet, this time, because of the topic . . . TIME . . . I'm leading with it. Beginning with a quote from Robert Orben;
"Sometimes I get the feeling the two biggest problems are making ends meet and making meetings end."
For the rest of the TIME story, "click" http://www.rayjutkins.com/baker/baker43.htm.
. . . a loose thought
You may be thinking the blues.
Especially if you're in the USA ... and know that tax time is only a week away.
So, another collection from a good biz friend, Andy Owen ... "All About The 'Blues'";
1. Most Blues begin, "Woke up this morning..."
2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues. Unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, "I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town."
3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes... sort of: "Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher, and she weigh 500 pound."
4. The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch -- ain't no way out.
5. Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft and state-sponsored motor pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays a major Part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.
6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, "adulthood" means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.
7. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City are still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the blues in any place that don't get rain.
8. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg cause you were skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg cause a alligator be chomping on it is.
9. You can't have no Blues in a office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.
10. Good places for the Blues:
11. Bad places for the Blues:
12. No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you happen to be a old ethnic person, and you slept in it.
13. Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if:a. you older than dirt. b. you blind. c. you shot a man in Memphis. d. you can't be satisfied. No, if:
14. Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woodscannot sing the blues. Sonny Liston could. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the blues.
15. If you ask for water and your darlin' give you gasoline, it's theBlues.Other acceptable Blues beverages are:
The following are NOT Blues beverages:
16. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Bluesdeath. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die.So is the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broken downcot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.
17. Some Blues names for women:
18. Some Blues names for men:a. Joeb. Williec. Little Willied. Big Willie
19. Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Debbie, and Heather can't singthe Blues, no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.
20. Make your own Blues name Starter Kit:
a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.)
b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi, etc.
)c. last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.)For example: Blind Lime Jefferson, Lame Lemon Johnsonor Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc. (Well, maybe not "Kiwi.")
21. I don't care how tragic your life: if you own a computer, you cannot sing the blues.
"It IS What's Next!"
Already I've shared this story with health care organizations, a database marketing business, a direct marketing firm, a DM association - and several others. And I'm ready to bring it to your group. (Visit It IS What's Next!)
When you have a need for a 40-90 minute program, I'll give you this different, interesting, meaningful, warm and true action presentation. To your club. Your company. Your organization. Your association. Any group you have. At any place. At any time. For any reason.
ItISWhat's Next!is available to you as a Keynote Address. As a special program. As an opening or closing presentation. As a different / unique session.
"Stamp Out" Alzheimer's
The last years of my dad's life included Alzheimer's. So, when long time DMer, speaker & biz friend John Jay Daly asked me to include this news - I quickly said "yes".
The US Postal Service is being asked to create a 'semi-postal' stamp to raise funds for the Alzheimer's Association. To fight the disease that affects 4 million Americans. A petition of 50,000 signatures is needed to make an impact.
Will you please help? Visit the donated web site & sign the
April showers bring May flowers. Have no idea where that thought came from ... yet, it is nice. And true.
Yet, in this month of April, tax time, an Anonymous English Proverb has another point of view;
"On the wearer knows where a shoe pinches."
"Quotes with Direction" has been a part of my web site collection from day one. If you like quotes visit the archives ... www.rayjutkins.com/quotes/. There's a new batch up every 4 weeks.
Magic Marketing Minutes
Brochures and Direct Mail
The standard Direct Mail package includes these elements:
When should you include a brochure?
Brochures are needed in Direct Mail when your sales message requires:
... an illustration, photography or some other graphic element to support your message.
... more information. You have a longer story to tell. You need time to explain your presentation. It's complex. It's new. It's different. It's unusual. It's unique.
... there are a series of questions that need answers ... and you may decide to include a Q&A brochure.
... justification or credibility -- you need to look and sound and feel important. You need to justify your presentation.
... you need testimonials.
... possibly a case history brochure.
... you may need a technical support piece.
For any of these reasons you may need a brochure to complete your message to your audience. Brochures are used to support your offer as outlined in your letter. It makes your offer more understandable.
When your sales message requires a more complete story, think about including an Direct Mail brochure.
by ROCKINGHAM*JUTKINS*marketing, all rights reserved.